Self Sabotage

I am my own worst enemy. I am the only one holding back my own trading potential. Today I made the same mistake that has kept me from progressing over the past few years. I hold losers until they are so big, that I have no choice but to puke them because they are so crippling to my account. Not only that, but I am losing more than 3 times than I make on a decent day. I just make it so bad for myself, and making it so much harder than it needs to be.

I still cant figure out why I do it. I believe I am so desperate to kick start this trading slump that I am willing to hold losers until they become winners. I do this because I just cant stand losing anymore. However, this is proving to be absolutely horrible, because all I keep doing is making it worse and worse for myself. My problem is that I have to get out because my losers are adding up and it is becoming nearly insurmountable.

Every day, I give myself an amount of capital to trade with. Lets say I allow myself to trade with $1000. Well, on a good day I am making about twice what I allow myself to lose, but on a bad day I am losing between $3000 and $4000. My ratio is looking like 1.5 : 4. What I need to do, to make money and grow my size, is change this around and get my ratio to look more like 3 : 1.

I am starting a new strategy, one that I feel will be more profitable. After looking at all my statistics, I am temporarily stopping my equity trades. In the last month, they have led to the biggest losers. From looking at my stats, I am only making money in oil and the euro. This is the part of the market I need to focus on. I am at a point where the pain from trying to force my equity trades is so detrimental that it is taking away from everything else.

Obviously, I need to stop taking massive losers. That is my absolute biggest problem.

Tomorrow is a new day, I need to take what I did today and try my hardest not to repeat it. Self sabotage is my current track and its time to change courses. I pride myself on saying that actions speak louder than words, so its time to put up or just shut up.